08 January 2010

Stressed OUT

  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!  Just woke up tired today.  I did not sleep well because my knees hurt.  My pain pills did not even touch the pain.  I could not get comfortable.  I slept on the couch to keep Matt from waking up with me all night, he does have to work in the AM.
   I am not sure that is the only reason I did not sleep.  We started on the Dave Ramsey "Total Money Makeover" this week.  AAHHH!  I cannot believe how far off I was about our situation.  I am just freaking out. We can pay all our monthly bills, but had no idea the rest of it was so bad.  I feel horrible about it because it is mostly my fault.  I am a spender.  I know that I have a problem.  The world SALE just draws me in the store.  I don't usually buy things we don't use, but I still buy more than I need to.  We started this on Monday....we each get a small allowance every two weeks, but dang it has been hard this week not to spend money.  Hopefully it will get easier for me.  I had nightmares about money two nights ago. I think I need to get a part time job, but that is not really reasonable with these two little ones.  Matt and I decided when Max was little that our boys would not be reared by someone else.  Matt is already doing wrestling in the evenings and with such a crazy schedule I would not be available the same time each week.
   Then there are my boys.  I love them to death, but sometimes they drive me nuts.  I am here with them all day everyday.  Some days my hubby is not even home while they are awake.  But, right now that is not my biggest concern.  These two have had a cough for 3 months now.  It is starting to freak me out.  Ben has a runny nose still too.  He is the worst and wakes up coughing in the middle of the night.  I just don't know what to do....I have called the doc and he says that this cough lingers for awhile.  I am not sure about that, but right now we cannot afford another hospital stay with Ben.  I am still paying for the last two.  I am doing breathing treatments, cough medicine and honey, trying to keep the cough at bay.  Grump.  I am just at my wits end with this.
   With all the pain I have been having, my house is a mess.  I did put away all the Christmas stuff yesterday (finally).  But, after doing that, I hurt so badly today that I am not going to get anything done today.  Drives me nuts.  I really wanted to get the kitchen completely cleaned, some laundry finished, and get my scrap room in order.  I just started with Close To My Heart stamping and scrapbooking company and I need to be organized.
  I am also filing a claim with the VA and they have already screwed it up.  I only filed it 5 days ago and they have it all wrong.  The claim I am making is very specific and they have me claiming something totally different.  I called the national office (it was the number on my letter) and got them to note the change.  I was told that they would send the information to the local regional office.  Yeah right, I am not sure it will ever get there.   It is just going to take me months to get it all right.  Talk about stressful.  I am also hoping to file for EDS, but that will have to wait or the VA might get too confused with all the claims.
  To make it all worse, I don't even have any peanut M&Ms.  I have already spent my allowance, so I cannot even go get some........Grrr.

I am done bitching now.  Just needed an outlet and this worked.

I am going to sit on the couch, watch the boys play and watch kid movies today.

Pain level today - 8 Knees, hips, ankles.

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there girl! Say a prayer for peace and healing...it helps. Let me know if there is something I can do. While Jon is gone, I could even come up there to give you a bit of a break. As you always say...just keep swimming, just keep swimming...