24 October 2010


Home again, home again, jiggitty jig.

It is nice to be our house again.  We went to Holyoke for the weekend and it was eventful.  We went and looked at houses.  There is nothing out there that I would like to buy or live in.  They all need a bit of work.  I am so looking forward to moving as soon as we can, but I do not want to jump into a house that needs work.

We still need to put our house on the market.....and I was all for it, but now I am not so sure.  I want to scream because I am so confused.  I want to make sure that Ben is healthy.  So, not only is that a problem, but I don't want to jump into a house.  I want to make sure it is something I want to live in for the rest of my life.

I checked the price of our house on Zillow.....WHAT!!!!! It is way lower than I thought it would be these days.  We went from a 3 bed 2 bath to a 5 bed 3 bath and our house has only appreciated $8,000 since we bought it....and we put all that work into it.  We might be able to get what we put into the basement, but nothing else.  We have done so much to this house.  How can this happen....we have been here almost 6 years.

I want to move out there to be near the family and friends.  We really need the support with all that is going on in our lives.  Ben could do worse there, but we do not know.  I know that, for me, that it would be better for me.  I can use all the help I can get.  I have realized this weekend that things are harder for me than I thought.  My hands are getting worse.  My left hand feels like I have lost the padding on the first and middle finger.  I am  also having massive pain in my right thumb area.

I know that I am really rambling and not sure what is what.  Nothing makes sense right now.  I want to move, I want to do what is right by my family, I want to be near our friends, I want to live in a house that I can live in for the rest of my life.

Pastor reminded us today that we have what we have by the grace of God.  God will watch over all of us and give us what he knows we need.  I am giving this up to God and praying for some guidance.

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