Better

I am feeling better tonight, maybe not physically, but mentally.  I am happy....I have just found myself.  I realize that I cannot let this stop me from living my life.

I am going to keep playing with my kids and enjoy every moment of it.  I cannot live my life afraid of dislocating something.  It is bound to happen no matter what I do, so why not take the time I have to enjoy life.  I love my kids and I don't want them to feel like their mom is missing in their lives.  I can do things, it hurts and I could get hurt even more, but I am willing to take that chance to "live" my life.

I hate to admit this to anyone outside of my family, but I have slept on the couch for a little over a month now.  It has just been more comfortable than sleeping in the bed.  I have been able to sleep a little better, without as much pain, but it is lonely.  I miss my husband.  I miss being in the same bed with him.  I have decided that I am going to take a pain pill before bed and then again when I get up.  It will be nice to be in the same bed with my hubby.  I am looking forward to it.  I have no problem taking the meds when I need them.  I was trying to not use them, but now that I know nothing is going to change.  I am going to use the meds to make my life better.  I can do that.

So, I spent the day playing with my boys, not dwelling on the bad.  I am happy, sore, but happy.  The kids are in bed, survivor is on.....the only way to make this better would be to have Matt home and not at some meeting.

I will continue to post my pain level....it is kind of my outlet.  I can whine here and try not to whine at other places in my life.  Maybe I should get one of those purple bracelets that were so popular about not complaining.

Pain Level:  4-5 right SI joint, right shoulder and thumbs.