04 March 2010


I am feeling better tonight, maybe not physically, but mentally.  I am happy....I have just found myself.  I realize that I cannot let this stop me from living my life.

I am going to keep playing with my kids and enjoy every moment of it.  I cannot live my life afraid of dislocating something.  It is bound to happen no matter what I do, so why not take the time I have to enjoy life.  I love my kids and I don't want them to feel like their mom is missing in their lives.  I can do things, it hurts and I could get hurt even more, but I am willing to take that chance to "live" my life.

I hate to admit this to anyone outside of my family, but I have slept on the couch for a little over a month now.  It has just been more comfortable than sleeping in the bed.  I have been able to sleep a little better, without as much pain, but it is lonely.  I miss my husband.  I miss being in the same bed with him.  I have decided that I am going to take a pain pill before bed and then again when I get up.  It will be nice to be in the same bed with my hubby.  I am looking forward to it.  I have no problem taking the meds when I need them.  I was trying to not use them, but now that I know nothing is going to change.  I am going to use the meds to make my life better.  I can do that.

So, I spent the day playing with my boys, not dwelling on the bad.  I am happy, sore, but happy.  The kids are in bed, survivor is on.....the only way to make this better would be to have Matt home and not at some meeting.

I will continue to post my pain level....it is kind of my outlet.  I can whine here and try not to whine at other places in my life.  Maybe I should get one of those purple bracelets that were so popular about not complaining.

Pain Level:  4-5 right SI joint, right shoulder and thumbs.

1 comment:

  1. I sleep on the couch a lot too, and before we got our foam mattress I slept on a mattress on the floor! I've heard other EDSers say similar things about sleeping arrangements. Sometimes we just can't get comfortable. My mom who has fibro. also said the same thing. Nothing against our hubbies - we just have issues! I have trouble with my shoulders hurting when I try to sleep on my side!