Freaked out

I am letting the cat out of the bag a little early, but I am so nervous I am not sure how to feel.  Matt has interviewed for a new job.  It sounds really positive.  The guy who interviewed him called and asked what his availability looks like for July 19th.  Matt said pretty good.  Then found out that he would be going to CT for 5 weeks.

I know that there are lots of single moms out there and lots of Army wives who do this all the time.  I am just scared that something might happen to me.  I have gotten with some close friends to talk to them about support while Matt is gone.  Everyone is being great.  I am feeling better than usual --minus the shoulder.  I am hoping that I stay that way.  School will start while Matt is gone.  I feel a bit sad about that.  Max is starting Kindergarten and Ben is starting preschool.  It is all exciting for the family.

The job is a good one.  It will certainly put our family in a much better place financially.  We would be able to move to Holyoke, CO sooner than we thought.  It will make our lives so much better.  Matt will be missing somethings with the kids, but he will be working from home when he is here.  So, that would give opportunities to see more of the kids things than if he worked 9 -5.  So, while he misses some, he sees more than he would otherwise.  I am not sure how he feels about that.

I am excited for him....it is one of those dream jobs for him.  It is something he really likes and is good at doing.  He will get great experience and if he wanted to move companies later, he would have a great resume'.

I have been super positive the last couple weeks (even with all the minor injuries).  I am hoping that those feelings will continue.  Matt and I have already made a list of things we would like to have done before he leaves so my life will be a bit easier.  I am going to be busy with the boys.  We have next week off of swim lesson and then it is back to 5 days a week for Max and Ben will start Saturday mornings.  Then another week off swim and then they both will be doing Tues/Thurs evenings.  School will be starting in there somewhere too.  It will be busy and I think if we just stay that way things will be good.  My life is about my kids and family.  That is a choice I made and I love it.

I know that I will need some me time still and I will get a few hours each week.  Ben will be in preschool for two hours on Mon/Wed in the AM.  I have decided that I will go to Starbucks and just chill during that time.  I have also talked to some friends about watching the boys for a couple of hours a week, just to let me get a grip on life.  Who knows, I may not need that time.  I may love the new life that we will have.  I know that having to get up every morning and get Max to swim lessons has really helped me get out of my funk.  I can only imagine what it will be like when they are both going to school.

I am scared, but I know that others do it.  I will just need all the positive thoughts I can get to make sure I stay healthy while he is gone.  I may just have to come to the realization that it truly is going to be mind over body.

I CAN DO THIS!!!!!