I know there are ups and downs, but this sucks. Yesterday things were so good. I am sure that is why I hurt today. I bet I over did it doing things to take care of the boys. I really want to help them do this and not have them grow up too fast having to take care of mommy. But having done so much yesterday I am going to have to have them help me more today.
I did not sleep well last night because of the pain. Not sure how I can find some way to actually be comfortable and get some rest. I do sleep better with pain meds on board, but having two boys at home by myself makes it hard to take pain meds. I am sure there at people who do it, but I just cannot bring myself to do it. What if I take it and then something happens to one of the boys? I would not be able to drive. While I feel that they don't impair my thoughts, what if I am wrong? I cannot imagine making the wrong decision in with regards to them. There is always that chance.
Today is a lay low day. The boys are still running low fevers so I decided to keep them home today. It makes my life a little easier not having to take them out. A major reason for not taking Ben out is because I do not need him to get sicker...he is on the verge of a hospital visit and I am trying to keep it away. The longer I quarantine us all, the less like Ben is to get something that pushes us over the edge on that front. I am not sure I could handle that.....arm not working right, Ben in the hospital and Matt not home. Yeah, could not do it. I know my limitations.
No comments:
Post a Comment